Ding Dong

Ding-dong, the wicked witch, is dead. Again. Nancy Pelosi has announced that she will not seek a “leadership role” in the Democrat party. Like the starting quarterback who announces he is just fine sitting on the bench to let the new generation take over for the good of the team. Uh-huh. Given the opportunity, she’ll be back.  Like the zombies in the Walking Dead. Sorry, so many analogies to choose from. But you have to hand it to the shifty old bat, even with the new wave of progressives and the “squad” stealing headlines, she kept the troops in line, and the democrats voted en bloc when it mattered most, unlike their hapless republicans' colleagues who are best at forming circular firing squads. With that kind of power, she has to know where all the bodies are buried. She is also quite adept at amassing a personal fortune, estimated at over $125 million, that includes a mansion in SanFrancisco and a Napa Valley estate with a vineyard. Pretty impressive on a $175000 salary. But her husband Paul, he of the recent drunk driving and bizarre hammer assault fame, is an astute investor, shrieks the left. Sure he is. Pillow talk is apparently very lucrative in Congress. But even as Chuck Schumer, with a tear in his eye, waxes poetic about Nancy’s storied career, I can’t help but recall all the good she has done for our nation. Think hard now. Think about the heavy-handed partisanship. Think about the number of times she “reached across the aisle.” Think about the strictly enforced mask mandates when she brushed them aside for her private trip to the hair salon. Think about voting for Obamacare so “we can find out what’s in it” and the current state of healthcare premiums. And most of all, close your eyes and picture her making a show of tearing up Trump’s state of the union address in one of the most disgustingly disrespectful displays of partisanship ever to stain the floors of congress. And to channel Matthew McConaughey’s character in A Time to Kill; now just imagine if she was a Republican.