Dubai COP28

Cataclysm! The apocalypse! The sky is falling! Such is the news coming out of the COP28 climate summit in Dubai. You know, the posh event where world leaders fly their Gulfstreams halfway around the world to stay in luxury accommodations, and dine on caviar and Wagyu beef while simultaneously attempting to convince the rest of the world’s population to accept austerity measures to save the planet. Tagging along for the ride, like pilot fish on a shark, are representatives of third-world nations vying to fleece the wealthy nations for cash payments for climate damage they claim disproportionately affects them. Call it climate welfare. What a repulsive bunch of hypocritical maroons. Ultra-maroons. Their latest and greatest solution to global warming is punitive taxation and regulation to punish livestock farmers to ultimately drive up the price of beef, making meat an unaffordable food choice for the masses. The reason?  Flatulence.  Yes indeed, cow farts. These pesky ruminants are apparently quite gassy, expelling 11-17% of total carbon emissions and upwards of 38% of methane into the environment. Sheep are on the chopping block as well and pigs, despite having only one stomach,  apparently live up to their filthy reputation and are somehow four times more carbon-intensive to bring to market than cows. No word yet on how to manage goats. But deer, giraffes, and elk probably will get a political pass because they’re “indigenous”. And that’s a protected class. As we’ve said before, they’re coming for you. The administrative state wants to control your movement, control how you heat your home, control what you cook with, and now wants to control what you eat. All in the name of existential climate change. How the climate is a threat to our existence when climate-related deaths have fallen some 98% since 1920 remains a closely held secret amongst the elitists. And who is preaching this new religion to the ignorant masses? Bill Gates, King Charles, and John Kerry to name a few. All preposterously wealthy yet ironically unfamiliar with the concept of a Zoom meeting. Wouldn’t it be fascinating to know the accumulated carbon footprint of their multiple residences and palaces alone, not to mention their aforementioned private jets? Recall John Kerry once had the city of Boston move a fire hydrant from in front of his swanky Beacon Hill residence so he could park there. Hypocrites, all.  Does anyone think that the proposed restrictions will have any effect on the lifestyle of the pampered elite?  Of course not. Despite John Kerry’s reputation for stiffing bartenders at Boston’s prestigious purveyors of fine spirits, I doubt he would even notice if he had to pay twice as much for his filet mignon. Maybe that’s because his wife Teresa Heinz, she of the Heinz ketchup empire, is picking up the tab. Even Obama appears unconcerned about catastrophic sea level rise at his Martha’s Vineyard estate. But I digress. The point is Johnny, Charlie, Barry, and that dork Billy will continue to jet around the globe, maintain multiple residences, and eat whatever the hell they want while they impose restrictions on the rest of us. You know, the huddled masses yearning to breathe free. Yeah, “those” people. So what they’re basically telling us is: “Let them eat cake.” And you know how that worked out for Marie.